I have so many thoughts I would like to share! So if I were to catch you up, I went to World Youth Day in Poland via a pilgrimage called ‘The footsteps of St John Paul II’ and afterwards I travelled with 7 other incredible friends of mine through parts of Italy, Switzerland and Spain for 3ish weeks. I would be crazy and lying if I said that nothing really happened.

So walk with me on this journey. I have to start by apologizing because the way my brain works is that I have to tell you current thoughts (where I am now) and then strangely backtrack to how I got here. So yes, it’s not only a rollercoaster but an upside down rollercoaster – the best kind.

Pondering out loud, this is the message that has kept popping up for me these past few days since arriving back: don’t give up.

Now I’m not sure what this might mean for you in your particular stage of life or current struggle, but yeah don’t give up hey. And I mean that with a deep sincerity and empathy - I’m saying it to myself too.

I’d like to say that I’ve been feeling really good lately coming back from such an epic trip and I want to share this fire with the world! But honestly, it’s been quite tough being back home. It’s actually harder to pray here than during WYD, or in Europe with my 7 good friends. It’s challenging to articulate the spirit and gift of being on pilgrimage with people who did not go. It’s back to reality with the same sins and struggles before I left on that plane for Poland. I mean, I want to pray. I want to share and articulate my experiences. I want to be holy. It’s just not as easy as I thought coming back. How is it that I’ve experienced so much but I feel like I’ve changed so little now that I’m back home?

It’s a surprising struggle but I cannot give up. I must keep trying.

You know what that line reminds me of? The times during WYD where I felt like my legs were going to drop off because of walking so much. The times when I was so convinced I could not continue WYD because I was so exhausted and so strained and frustrated about not being the best group leader (to my unrealistic standards). I was pushed to my ultimate limit yet grace held me together through all of that without me fully realizing it or appreciating it. A prayer as simple as “Lord, I don’t think I can do this. Help me.” I remember praying that all too often. Yet here I am typing away in Sydney on the other side of WYD thinking “How the heck did I survive that?” I guess I didn’t give up and God took care of the rest. Another thought that comes to mind is when Jesus could've given up. There he was in the garden of Gethsemane saying "if it is your will, take this cup away from me" it's too tough. Imagine if Jesus gave up then and there. Imagine if Jesus gave up after the first, second or third fall from carrying the cross.

I hope I can apply that to other parts of my life now where it’s hard to see the other side of a difficult situation which has lasted more than hours, days or weeks. No matter the length of suffering, I hope we never give up because God is so willing to be there for us – we just need to let him. Jesus knows what it means to suffer (to the extreme) and not give up. I have no doubts about what God can do. I just doubt whether I have the humility and courage to ask Him for a bit of help.

Here's some ways you and I can try to be more human and a little more consistently prayerful:
+ As soon as I wake up and unfortunately grab my phone, instead of the usual facebook or insta scroll, I consciously try to open the 'Laudate' app and read the daily readings and a reflection that's provided. Otherwise, try usccb.org, click the date and bam!
+ Repeat easy one-liner prayers during the day whenever possible e.g. Lord, help me to see you today; or Have mercy on me a sinner; etc.
+ Changing our phone/computer laptop to an image that reminds us of good things, like blessings, in the hope that we might "set [our] heart on things above" - Col 3:2

Tis a journey, mates! 

In friendship, 

Raimz 

--- DVD Extras ---

Recent TV series I watched: Stranger Things (Netflix) 

Favourite song at the moment: Monster by Paramore 

Favourite thing I've received lately: A postcard from Karen from Netherlands 

Something character-building that I need to work on: Prudence 

Something that Europe reignited in me: My passion for playing and sharing music