This week was harder than usual. It's Friday, but I feels like July already. There's only so much time an extrovert can be in restriction until they notice how much they are actually changing.

I was driving on my way home this morning feeling down and contemplative, thinking about what it is that is at the core of my current darkness.

It's not discouragement. It's not depression. Maybe it's boredom. Maybe it's sadness because of all the change (I don't think I have grieved that yet). One thing is for sure, it's deeply pierced my sense of purpose during this time.

Last night I finished the tv show on Netflix called Marvel's Iron Fist. It's about a struggling protagonist who doesn't know who he is and what he is fighting for. Orphaned at a young age, he grew up in a monastery that trained him in kung fu to be a weapon but he abandoned that life to follow a calling to his original home.

I relate to it a lot because I am really good a Kung Fu too. Hahaha not.

But in this time of so many things being stripped away I am asking myself, what is left? What is really me? Who am I? Who am I becoming? Do I want to stay this way? Where am I headed? Am I still keeping connected to others? Am I looking too much inward? Am I happy? Are others happy? Why am I struggling to be obedient and just stay home? Where will I even go?

If you've asked yourself any of these questions in the past 3 months or even beyond, know that that is totally okay.

Thinking out loud,

Raimie

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Behind the scenes

Last thing I ate: Honey roasted peanuts
Last thing I handwrote: A letter to Sam
Fav colour right now: Midnight Blue
How people describe me: Nice
Something irrational that I want to buy: A new car
Something that makes me feel insecure: Good singers LOL