At some points of my year, despite how incredible it was or how incredibly difficult it was, there were moments I still compared myself to other people's lives. Whether it be me scrolling through my facebook newsfeed, reading whatsapp group stories, or listening to people's victories I'd think: Why aren't I as happy as they are? Why haven't I achieved that yet? What am I missing that they have? Why aren't I where they are at?

When I came to this part of the Benedictine Retreat Center (image above) I realized I am much like what is happening here. It is all wood. Some are tree trunks, tree vines, fallen branches, and even a little bench to sit on. They are all the same wood with different purposes. Imagine how different this picture would have been without the bench or without the trees? Just like how I am the same as my family and friends but with a different purpose and at a different part of my story. We are each a unique sort of carving from the same wood. All together our stories make a beautiful picture. 

 I was at peace when I sat on this bench and eventually a little more at peace with where I was in life.

--//--

#2 - Cobwebs

There was another part in this Benedictine Retreat Center where there was a little footpath marked by wired fences because of the surrounding wildlife, and these short tree trunks. In my obliviousness I would walk down the path playfully tapping the tops of these tree trunks and one time - to my frightful surprise - ALMOST hitting this cobweb (I have slight arachnophobia since childhood so you can imagine my heart racing). 

As I carefully looked closer into this cobweb I thought: gosh how long have these cobwebs been here? Has anyone even noticed this before? I've walked down this path many times and never even noticed. 

It led me to think even deeper... what are the cobwebs in my life right now? Things that I hadn't noticed before that I should have cleaned? An image of a soul with unnoticed cobwebs came to mind. Some people call these "things in my 'too hard' box". Are there things in my 'too hard' box that I don't want to bring in to the new year? Otherwise are there things in my 'too hard' box that I can bring to light in 2017 with a fresher perspective? 

--//-- 

#3 Taste and see

This is where I ate prepared lunches for 3 days. Other meals were BYO or cook-your-own. 

I thought: Hey, I eat everyday. 

But when I ate in silence here I was able focus in on my necessary senses and really taste my food.

I could pick out the ingredients and some of the spices in each meal. I never do that. I usually just eat and talk over a meal.

Focus makes a difference. 

Much like distractions makes another difference. 

What am I missing out on when I'm not focused? 

What am I not tasting more in life when I am preoccupied?

--//--

(My favz)

#4 Perspective

So this was my view on the first day (Friday). I remember sitting here for ages pondering the trees as the wind blew them. I was admiring the differences in trees by their sizes, their colours, their positions within the forest, and especially the way they swayed. You can't see it clearly in this picture but there was a super skinny tree with barely any leaves almost dying because of the strength of the wind. But there was also a chubby tree behind it as if holding it up saying "I gotchu mate!" hahahha. 

The more I observed the trees I came to ask myself: Which tree am I? Which one would I be in this forest? Honestly... I couldn't pick it. I wasn't picking my favz, I was picking which one I felt I most related to. (I'm conscious of how wierd I am rn LOL).

ANYWAY - I was a little bit upset that I couldn't pick one. I wasn't in this beautiful forest. I didn't belong. So I went back to my room upset - why couldn't I see me in that forest?

The next day I sat in a different chair to see the same forest and to my surprise this is what I saw...

There I was :) 

A little growing tree under a comforting shade of a massive 200+ year old fig tree. Anyway, I saw this tree and I just knew it was me. Little me under God's shade. It was such a beautiful, humbling moment. Ahhhhh...

:') 

--//--

And last but not least...

#5 My view and His view

On the drive home from the retreat I stopped by a lookout and felt a strong calm:

"You think you are a speck in the world, but I still see you and love you." - God 

--//--

Happy New Year, my friends!

As we reflect on 2016, may it be a time of gratitude and hope for the new year to come.

x

Raimz

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DVD extras

Song of the moment: Hope is right here by Shawn McDonald 

Documentary I'm going to watch today recommended by mates: Minimalism (on Netflix) 

Something I need more in my life: Water. ASAP it's so hot rn. 

An awesome Christmas gift this year: An image of The Visitation from Qwayne 

A family tradition on New Years Eve: Wearing something with polka dots. Idk why though tbh. Something to do with prosperity I think? Hopes to roll in the cash monies next year probz.