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What the heck is a 'frand'? haha
My question exactly! For years I've been questioning what it means to be a true friend and tonight I’ve had this strange desire to write a book. Not just any book, but a book about friendship. How strange is that!? I think some mates would agree when I say that I have very odd perspectives on friendships but I think that’s exactly why I feel like writing about it. I'm struck by the fact that no friendship has been the same as another, yet love in all friendships is not unique.
I’ve had a handful of really close friends, fake friendships and friendships that were based on me thinking the friendship was better than it really was. I’ll expand!
I will shyly admit that I am such a beginner at being a good friend to others, but here are some things I’ve started to become more aware of that I would like to share with you:
There are friendships that aren't what I thought they were -
Sometimes I’m friends with the potential of a person not the actual person OR i stick to the fact that we’ve known each other for ages. Truth is, it may have been years that we’ve known each other - but a lot changes in 1 year to a person, imagine yearS?
“I like who I think you are, who I want you to be, or who we used to be."
There are friendships that aren't quite great -
You know that feeling when you really want to get a phone cover but you know they're too expensive so you have to fork out a lot of money to buy legit ones? OR you just go on ebay and try your luck with a $2 cover that looks similar but isn’t a legit cover?
Sometimes the sacrifice towards an ‘expensive’ person isn’t worth it - someone who demands so much time, money and effort when the same isn’t reciprocated. Aka friends who speak to you substantially more than listen to you.
"I like you more than you like me."
"I like you more than you like me."
Other times, we feel like anybody could be a really good friend, like any phone case will be a good phone case - doesn’t matter about the quality or the bad ratings, as long as it’s free shipping and not much of a sacrifice on my bank account. Aka friends who are just good company but we don’t really know or want to know who each other really is.
“I like you because you’re convenient.”
There are friendships that are really close to the core -
These are a handful of friends that I’m starting to realise that I have, and it’s beautiful… but also scary. It’s scary to think another person will really know who I am, how I think, how I respond to challenges, etc. A close friend who gets close to the core of who I am - the raw me. I’m the type of person who likes to give love to people but from a distance. I’ll go out of my way to comfort, get to know and advise others but I’ll also go out of my way to make sure I am ok before I can share about myself. Aka I’ll share my challenges once I have overcome them. There’s a rare group of friends who would see me in my raw state of sadness, frustration or hopelessness. A mutual friendship that is equally loving and willing the best for each other is scary to me haha. The desire is also the fear. Strange!
I’ve experienced a share of suffering lately, but it’s been these group of friends that have seen me raw and love me anyway - with my ‘give me space’ face, my grumpiness, my selfishness and ingratitude. Yet, I have been treated with patience, understanding, a little frustration but tenderness and prayer.
“You’re strange, but I love you for you."
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Anyway! I hope this gives a little insight on the people around you. I think it’s important to love everyone but to be honest and aware of the type of friendships around you. I also think it’s a reality that people can go in and out of these different types of friendships (and there are probably more types than these). AND LASTLY, I find it so interesting that these types can also reflect on your relationship with your future husband/wife. Yihee! I'll keep you hanging on that thought :)
Goodnight xx
DVD extras:
Artists on repeat atm - Tori Kelly
Last thing that made me cry - Solomon Islands SFC singing "You are mine" during Mass
An actual DVD that I regretted buying and didn't end up watching - The OC season 7
Next event I'm super keen for: Basketball semi finals on Tuesday :)
DVD extras:
Artists on repeat atm - Tori Kelly
Last thing that made me cry - Solomon Islands SFC singing "You are mine" during Mass
An actual DVD that I regretted buying and didn't end up watching - The OC season 7
Next event I'm super keen for: Basketball semi finals on Tuesday :)
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