Have you ever had one of those moments when you're sitting by yourself thinking, "holy smokes, this is not how I thought my life would pan out..." ?

Welcome to where I am in October 2022. The weather is colder than it should be and I am wondering how I got here. 

Let's backtrack shall we? In bullet points because nobody got time for essays:

- New home 

- Left my dream job 

- No direction 

Wow, that looks sad. But lets expand.

- New home: the apartment my sister and I bought is now officially for our parents to live in (yay!) and they look so happy there. The place actually looks way better and cleaner than when Gin and I lived there.

- Left my dream job: what can I say that isn't too much or too little? iykyk you g2g gtfo. No workplace is worth your mental health or sense of self. 

- No direction: It has been over 2 months since I've had a full-time income. I'm paying for rent and a mortgage. Not sure how but I'm surviving! When people ask me where I'm going, I have no answer. 

Why am I sharing this?

Honestly, I knew I wanted a life of service, and this is not how I thought it would pan out. That actually makes sense though: a life of service is not really yours. But also the more you ARE yourself the more you can give - freely and happily. 

The word to describe this time of my life is AVAILABLE. [Insert single jokes here].

But seriously, I am so available to help where it is needed. I was able to volunteer for the FIBA Women's World Cup and watch the best female basketball players play - so inspiring!! I sold excess crap I had so that I could finally work on my dream to be minimalist (and yes, that was a real photo of my room!). I was able to spontaneously fly to Tasmania with my parents for 4 days. I'm currently back at Young Lions Cafe making coffee again all day Fridays <3. I get to help an aged care facility with their admin, payroll and hangout with the elderly. I also get to call myself a freelance journalist (lol wut) - I get invited to special events to document them and write articles for the Catholic Outlook online. Coffee, computers, chats and cameras = crazy. 

Maybe how we think our lives would pan out is SO limited to what is actually in store for us. So limited to what we are capable of experiencing and giving to the world. The unknown is also an openness to new, to healing, to wholeness. 

May unexpected seasons in life bring us to something exciting and worthwhile even when it's scary, unusual or heartbreaking.  

Sending you love and comfort like your favourite hoodie, 

Raimz

----

DVD Extras

Fav song rn: Bring it right back by Khalid 

Fav memory: Dancing with team belgium and team france <3 #fibawwc

Should be banned from my life: Tequila 

Last jersey bought: Ionescu from NY Liberty 

Current read: Atomic Habits 

Something to look forward to: Cam and Jacob's wedding yihee

Most used apps rn: Insta, Gmail, MyFitnessPal

Other things I want to blog about: Minimalism, Women and basketball, Tasmania