These past two weeks I've been catching my tail like crazy. I'm usually on the move, usually doing 3 things at one time. I thought I had the hang of it, so I took on more. So much so, that I'm constantly flustered, ultra forgetful, and obviously not present to people that I really care about. 

It hit me as I was walking along the loud and frantic Showground Road in Rouse Hill filled with trucks and fast cars racing past me. It felt like this road was very much like what was going on in my head - loud, frantic, filled with things big and small racing at 80 km/hr. I was overwhelmed. I was tired. I wanted to escape. I wanted to go to my safe place where I can just sit in silence and think. 

Contemplate. 

Breathe. 

So what do I normally do when this happens? 

I usually drive to a church in Blacktown, Lidcombe or St Mary's (whatever's open) and sit in there. I've cried. I've brought a guitar with me. I've rested. I've felt completely lost outside the walls of these sanctuaries in the world. All in the spirit of mindfulness, honest emotions, surrender and my inner self just… really seeking peace. 

Now as you know, lockdown lyf is ruff. These physical churches are closed. What do I do when I don’t have my safe space?

I have no solutions in this blog haha SORRY 

I just wanted to share this deep sadness of not physically being able to go in my sanctuary. Maybe other people feel this way too. Maybe it's a friend's house that is outside their LGA/5km. Maybe it's a particular beautiful hike in the Blue Mountains. 

What an area in my life to grow in! Patience and hope. 

Figuring this out with you, 

Raimz 

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If Blogs had a Dessert Menu: 

The song that comes to mind after editing this blog: How Do I Breathe by Mario 😂

Last coffee I had: Campos from Second Home Cafe in Rouse Hill

Last thing I ate: Shepherds Pie from The Bakehouse in North Kellyville

Last thing I read: Morning Prayer by St Therese of Lisieux 

Next thing I will watch: Squid Game or Blindspot

Next thing I will cook: Spaghetti Bolognese :) 

Photo by Jean Gerber on Unsplash